It Took Me a Decade to Love My Curls, and I Know Many of You Can Relate
Like many curly-haired beauties, my relationship with my locks has always been complicated.
Over the past ten years, my hair has led me on a journey of frustration, resignation, jealousy, gratitude, self-confidence, and — finally! — self-love.
Only ten years, you say? But you’ve been alive longer than that! Yes. Yes, I have. However, as a young child, my hair was only the slightest bit wavy. It was not until I hit age 12 or 13 that I suddenly realized my hair had decided to take on a whole new texture.
I later learned this is not terribly uncommon.
Hair curl is a dominant trait, but a person can spend their childhood with straight or mostly straight hair only to have it drastically take on a new texture when hormones “turn on” their curly hair genes during puberty.
Long story short, I spent most of my elementary school years blissfully unaware of the “blessing” I was soon to receive.
And then I spent my teen years fighting my hair every day.
I hated my curls. It was one of my biggest insecurities. I hated the frizz. I hated the fluff. I hated the attention it drew to me.
I resented the fact that (I thought) in order to look decent it was crucial that my bangs be fried with a flat iron. My mom tried to convince me that my hair was prettiest when it was natural, but her words were not nearly enough to cancel out the standards of beauty I spent my teen years buying into.
My hair used to cause acne breakouts from hanging in my face and touching my skin too much. Most days of the week, I wore it in a ponytail to avoid the hassle and to stop others from noticing it. On the days I decided to put in the effort of straightening my hair, it would take me an hour or more to do so, and even then some wave would remain.
The good news is, after all the stress and insecurity my hair caused me as a young adult, I have grown to love my curls. Absolutely L-O-V-E! As a 24-year-old woman, my hair is now one of my greatest confidence-boosters.
I think it is important to note that this boost in self-confidence has been a natural part of maturation that I believe can not solely be attributed to my hair becoming more manageable, less frizzy, et cetera. To be honest, we’re all insecure about many things as teenagers.
Looking back, my middle school and high school hair was probably better behaved than it is now, but I was under the pressure of beauty trends telling me flatter, straighter hair was the “in” look. (My, how the fashion tables have turned in such a short time!) All that said, I do feel very strongly that accepting and embracing my natural hair was a huge turning point in my self-love journey.
The funny thing is, if you were to ask me when that specific turning point occurred, I honestly couldn’t pinpoint it. I think the realization that I actually like my hair is quite recent. Within the last two years, I would say.
As I already stated, much of my sudden curly hair confidence was brought on by growth in maturity and all-around self-confidence. But there were two other huge elements to this equation: (1) positive social media messaging, and (2) learning how to properly take care of my curls (a subject that inspired me to write this piece in the first place).
Of course, there are still rough hair days here and there (curly hair truly is a blessing and a curse), but even those “bad” days don’t affect me much.
So, here’s where I’m at now.
I love it when people compliment my curls. I love it when people talk to me about my curls. I love flaunting my curls, letting them hang freely around my shoulders rather than strapping them in a ponytail.
And I so badly wish that 14-year-old Laura would have been able to accept the compliments handed her way with even a fraction of the pride I feel when receiving the same sentiments ten years later.
